January 16, 2012
-Palo Alto, CA (TMD News)
In a surprising move, Google, (NASDAQ:GOOG) the country's largest generator of ad revenue, (their earnings for Q3 2011 were $9.72 billion) announced today that it would no longer be charging for ads through their successful "ad sense" and "adwords" programs, but would instead be giving away ad space for free and looking to Tee Shirt sales to generate all future income.
A spokesperson for Google, Hans Vet Allt, explained the change, "This is the business model that has been so successful for the music industry for a number of years now, and our marketing data indicates that individual consumers, small business and corporations would rather pay for Tee Shirts over any other good or service.” The statement released by Google also noted that the company believes that Tee Shirt sales are, “The future of all monetary transactions."
Vet Allt went on to announce that after Google finishes destroying SOPA and PIPA it would lobby Washington D.C. hard to abolish the Federal Reserve and replace it with Old Navy, turning the U.S into a merch based economy.